Yes, I have been known to be obsessed
with the famous Cronut. In my defense, the rest of LA city, the state of New York and everyone who travels there to wait in line for hours just for a few measly bites of a pastry are all far worse than I. While I did go out of my way to try a Cronut a couple of weeks ago just to know what all the hype was about, I have not been craving another one as much as I thought I would. If you think about it, the way people have been idolizing these fried pieces of dough is pretty ridiculous. Where have our priorities gone? In an attempt to bring people down to earth and away from all this cro-nuttiness, here’s a list of 10 things that are way better than eating a Cronut (both for your soul and for your waistline).
Sleeping in and enjoying a lazy cup of coffee on a porch in your pajamas
The virtues of sleep and relaxation are under-appreciated and under-utilized. Instead of waking up at the crack of dawn for a glorified donut, get a few extra hours of sleep. The late start and the tranquility of being outside with a tasty hot beverage, with not really anywhere to be, is one of life’s luxuries. Unless, of course, you’re a police officer, in which case, being up early for deep-fried pastries is expected of you. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Please don’t arrest me.)
Photo Credit: VeganBaking.net via Flickr
Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies from scratch
(And/or licking the bowl and/or warm brownies a la mode and/or chocolate anything) If you need me to tell you why any of these chocolate delights are better than a cronut, you need to get your taste buds reexamined. Chocolate > pretty much anything else on the planet.
Putting your feet in the ocean
This one goes hand in hand (or foot on foot?) with watching and hearing the waves crashing on the shore. It could be true that God sent Dominique Ansel to earth with the sole purpose of having him invent the cronut. But let’s not forget the original stuff the “man upstairs” gave to us for our pure enjoyment: the ocean, the forests, and the things which grow from the ground (marijuana).
Research has shown that humans need multiple hugs a day to stay sane and depression-free. Hugging your friends and family outweighs hugging your therapist, and majorly trumps eating your feelings (which could lead you right back to said therapist). Unless you plan on embracing your cronut, something I discourage as it could get pretty messy, give your lover a hug (or more) instead.
Watching a beautiful sunset
Sunsets are prettier (and make better pictures) than layers of greasy carbs. There, I said it. So sue me.
Making a baby laugh (and/or petting a dog)
While puppies may poop on your lawn and babies may cry when you sleep, I can’t really think of anything cuter than the sound of a giggling infant, or a dog that makes those eyes at you (you know the ones). Babies and dogs are completely different species, obviously, but they both do similarly adorable things, like tricks and faces and what not. If only there was a way to eat a cronut around a dog…
The satisfaction of finishing a long book
You’ve dedicated hours and days to learning about these characters, their likes and dislikes, their motivations, their heartbreaks. They feel like your best friends and you’ve been living in their world, going to the same places as them, witnessing them “do stuff” together. In short, you’ve become attached. You cringed as they failed, felt relieved when they succeeded and cried when they cried. And hundreds of pages later, it’s all over. Lying in your bed, the book clasped to your chest, you feel like you’ve had the best sex in your life, except you’re alone and it was all in your imagination.
Drinking wine and talking with friends until 4 a.m.
This was me almost every weekend in college and it was the best four years of my life. Something magical happens when you’re slightly buzzed on wine, delusional from the lack of sleep, and in the company of your closest friends. Everything is suddenly hysterically funny for no apparent reason. You talk about things like politics, the moon, and mermaids. Cherish those moments, because they don’t stick around forever.
Trying on an outfit and it’s The One
Ah, clothes… Can’t live with you, can’t be socially accepted without you. One time when I was feeling pretty down about my appearance (because of my Freshman 30) and my self-esteem was almost as low as Chris Brown’s morality, I decided that I might feel better with some retail therapy. After trying on a cart-full of clothes and not fitting into most of them, my confidence plummeted to the same level as Lindsay Lohan’s ability to stay sober (non-existent). That’s when I realized that the true meaning of retail therapy is when a shopping trip goes so horribly, that you need therapy. That’s why women never underestimate the power of an amazing-looking and perfectly-fitting outfit, the kind that makes your ass look like the gym instructor’s. An outfit that makes you feel like that far outweighs almost any dessert, other than…
Nutella in pretty much any form
As we discussed earlier (in #2), chocolate is the greatest food on earth. So when you mix it with some cream and toasted hazelnuts, you have the greatest food times 100. Whether it’s frozen, baked, or eaten with a spoon, Nutella is way better than a cronut and you can buy some at your nearby grocery store. And OMG Nutella cronuts… Don’t steal my idea! I’m going to trademark it.